Why are we here? is the kind of question with which human beings have wrestled for millennia. A living question, one that endures for each generation and every person, because longing for a sense of identity and purpose for one’s life is at the root of the human journey. And unless you happen to study philosophy, ethics, or religious studies, it’s a line of inquiry that professors rarely get to follow, or voice. Which is a shame, since in my experience, students hunger for meaning, are probably spending a significant amount of energy seeking it, especially during a pandemic.
How do we make meaning in the middle of chaos? When things are upside down, when we cannot connect with others as we used to, how do we figure out our place in the world? Dear Reader, one my goals in setting forth this blog is to walk with you in the dead of night, or during the foggy mid-day, when you find yourself facing such quintessential questions around discovering more deeply who you are, in the midst of all this. But before we dive into the deep end of the pool, let’s dip our toes into the water with a small piece of that bigger picture, and ask… why are you thinking about or already attending college?
If you feel suddenly defensive, in hearing that question, let me reassure you that I am definitely not wondering why you, of all people, are here, engaging with the world of higher education. On the contrary, I affirm and celebrate that you have every right to be here! Yes, you. Indeed, I am utterly delighted that you are considering or have already embarked upon a potentially transformative academic adventure.
With my opening query, I am merely and quite seriously inviting you to ponder, like an actor muses, “What’s my motivation?” You’ve heard the line—spouted dramatically by the earnest performer in a satirical show. It’s a classic shtick because actors do work to understand the needs and inner desires of their characters, so that they may portray their intentions more clearly. This practice of getting in touch with motivations derives from a basic theatrical insight that identifying what I want can help me determine how to act. With this helpful practice in mind, I’d like to begin with you…by asking, once again, what motivates you to get an education?
Have you ever considered and identified your motivations? Do you know what you want from this academic experience? If maybe you haven’t given it much thought before now, you are not alone. In my experience, college simply seems like the next logical step in the natural progression of education for some folks. I have likewise encountered students who have drifted into academia out of a desire to assuage boredom, to satisfy burgeoning curiosity, or because of a vague inkling that they long for something more. Others have been intentionally nudged here by family, caregivers, teachers, mentors, or even friends, who have encouraged them to proceed, pointing out the potential academic and personal benefits of pursuing higher education. All worthwhile starting points.
At the other end of the spectrum, maybe you have considered some of the benefits of obtaining an education for yourself and have latched onto a primarily practical reason for heading to college or grad school… the end goal. You want that degree, that piece of parchment which serves as a credential card to help you land that dream gig, in terms of your envisioned career. Perhaps you recognize that a degree may serve as a stepping stone into greater financial security and ideally personal fulfillment. Well and good, hold fast to that light at the end of the tunnel!
Now, if you’ve read this far, and find yourself responding, what “What light? I have no friggin’ clue why I am (even considering being) in college anymore… I got nothing.” I hear you. Some days are like that. Some entire years, say, when there is a freaking pandemic raging across the planet and acrimonious civil discord. Maybe you are feeling overwhelmed and struggling to know anything about yourself and your place in the world right now. You are not alone. I am going to gently encourage you to do the following:
1) Acknowledge the uncomfortable place of uncertainty and unknowing, and let it be just what it is. Be kind to yourself, as you sit with it.
2) Take a few deep breaths. Using your imagination, visualize an empty field. Now tell yourself what every farmer knows… in order for a field to produce a thriving crop, every so often, you need to let it rest. Fallow periods actually help rejuvenate the soil. That time of “nothing” serves to produce a greater yield down the line.
3) Then, like the character, Katniss Everdeen, in The Hunger Games trilogy, when she was striving to recover from her traumatic experience, start with what you do know. “My name is Katniss Everdeen. I’m from District 12.” State what you understand to be true about yourself. “I like poetry.” Or “I love to solve math problems.” Or “music makes me happy.” Or “I want to design video games.” Or “I long to make a difference.” Identify something that matters to you, and then see how you can connect that personal ideal or place of enjoyment to your next academic task. Making such a connection, however remote, may give you energy to take another small step down your college path, or at least grant you strength to continue treading water for now, before you start to swim again.
In truth, a host of worthy reasons for pursuing an education exist, and you might find that your inspiration shifts and changes frequently en route to a degree. I hope you will spend quality time ruminating about what drives you. Once you have identified an impetus that works for you, at least at this particular moment in time, remind yourself often. (Especially when you are up late at night, working on an assignment that feels like a complete drudgery, or when you have to force yourself to go to one more Zoom meeting class.) Setting an intention may not only keep you motivated, in the general sense, but may, as the actor discovers, meaningfully guide your actions and choices along the way.
Things the Professor Cannot Actually Say 