After focusing upon the joys of learning last time, here I recognize that higher education is not the end all, be all. We need enrichment beyond what an academic program can offer, especially because attending university requires a significant amount of work. So many students have related to me, some complaining, others speaking matter-of-factly, how many hours they have put into keeping up with their classes, or how late they stay up trying to get projects completed. On a good day, they often feel frazzled. During a pandemic…? Phew. Precisely because I know this is true, I propose to you that ideally in higher education, work and play comingle. Like, say, chocolate and peanut butter… or whatever imagery works deliciously well for you.
Radical as it may sound coming from a professor, it is entirely possible to work too hard while you are in college. As a cautionary tale, I will share that I attended a graduate school where a fellow student was so stressed out that he smashed all of the coffee cups in the student café one day. Friends, you don’t wanna go that route, allowing yourself to build up frustration and dis-ease. Remember to make space in your life for a little chocolate, or a comforting mug of scrumptious hot cocoa. Ahem, I am not talking code for illicit substances here. I mean high quality, organic, responsibly sourced, no child labor, good ol’ tasty chocolate. Or whatever else, metaphorically and literally, is a healthy source of nourishment for you.
If you ever find that college is losing its flavor, or if the peanut butter is feeling stuck to the roof of your mouth, identify what particularly nourishes you? What activities ground you, give you a sense of peace, or simply help you remember who you are? What reminds you that life is good? Got a hobby? Walking? Music? Athletics? Artistry? Reading? Meditation? Journaling? What is meaningful or relaxing for you? If you are not entirely certain, perhaps try something new, join an online club, or take part in an extracurricular student activity that can connect you virtually with others. Read a novel. Enjoy nature. Get some fresh air or exercise, rocking your hippest mask, to get the endorphins flowing. Take a hot shower. Whatever revives you. And remember to eat and sleep well, that’s pretty essential. A lot of us are out of whack in this department right now, what with the world feeling topsy-turvy, so gently notice your own current patterns. A healthy balance of work and play in college means giving yourself permission to tend to your intellectual growth, while also remembering to enjoy life along the way.
If your response to this invitation is to declare, “I don’t have time for that!”… ah! That is an important clue that it may be worth re-evaluating your schedule. Especially right now, when the pandemic has thrown us a curve ball, and time has lost some of its’ meaning, becoming elusive and more difficult to track, at least for me. I suspect that for many of us, being forced to slow down because of pandemic restrictions has thrown into sharp relief the fact that the society in which we live promotes busy-ness to an unhealthy degree. Higher education often contributes to that phenomenon. (Which is why energy drink manufacturers sometimes set up tables around campuses.) Resist that intense pressure mill, my friend!
Consider what will contribute to your learning in a holistic way. If you find you don’t have a moment to spare for attending to your overall well being, then ponder some alternatives. Might it be wise to consider decreasing the number of credits you are taking, if at all possible, or to select a class with a lighter work load? What if you grant yourself permission to say “no, thanks” to that extra task or event? Especially if you are simultaneously working a lot of hours to pay for your education; that struggle is real. In addition, remember, life is not a race. And if you cannot help but think in those terms, then recall the story of the tortoise and the hare… slow and steady. During the time of COVID-19, one inch at a time is progress, and sometime, making it through the day can be enough. With that in mind, ponder your particular situation and whether it may prove beneficial to adjust your expectations about how much you can manage, healthily and happily, right now.
So, take a moment. Right now. Bring to mind what else helps sustain you? Do you have family members, friends, or colleagues who can act as safe havens, when you need to rest and recuperate on the journey? Keep in touch with them, via phone, text, or video conference. How about a mentor or counselor with whom you can meet with virtually for a dose of support? Go ahead and reach out. Do inspirational quotes, messages, or images, perhaps like “Tiny Potato,” make you smile? Place some of them in view, even if they are discretely tucked in a notebook or inside a drawer, to act as a stash of sunshine in your pocket to brighten your day. Take a break when necessary. Daily. Weekly. Monthly. Build rejuvenating moments away from your studies into your pattern of living. Little respites of time and space away will help make all the difference. Find a rhythm that works best for you!
All of which is to invite you, Dear Reader, to be kind to yourself. Relinquish the habit of comparing yourself with what or where you imagined yourself to be, before the coronavirus hit. By this, I do not mean that you ought not continue to pursue your hopes and dreams— you need not dwell in a sort of suspended animation, hitting the pause button, waiting for the virus to eventually “pass.” Personal development and a healthy effort of working toward goals are essential components of human happiness and flourishing. Yet ideally, we can strive to become wiser, more compassionate, more competent versions of ourselves… at a pace that allows us to maintain a more even keel.
In other words, I am gently nudging you to forego the interior drive to be a super perfect rock-star version of yourself, who not only earns straight As but otherwise embodies glowing bliss. Learn to let go of the false images of self we all carry, and live humbly into who you are, amidst the unique challenges we are facing now. Be patient with yourself in your process of ongoing learning and becoming, seeking a balanced approach to your educational endeavors, and allow yourself room to breathe.
Things the Professor Cannot Actually Say 